Sometimes I am in a bad place
But I am actually in a good place
Like where I sit, where I move
It is a very well-to-do place
But where I breathe, where I cry
It is shattered and dark and scary
I am in a place of uncertainty
And it is creeping into my good place
It is finding places to adhere itself to the walls
It is rising from my stomach
And encapsulating my heart
It is tensing up my shoulders
It is dragging me away
The light in my good place is certain
I see pictures of me and my friends
And painting and drawings
And empty tea cups and perfume
Sometimes I get lost
I forget how to get back to the good place
I forget how remind myself I am in control
I can take back my direction
I can stay in good places
I can leave the bad places behind
But somehow never before
I work myself up
Or I lose nights of sleep
I don’t like it.
I just want it to be good.
It can’t be anything less
Than coordinated chaos
Choreographed much like
Strangers on the sidewalks
All with differing trajectories
All sharing the same space
As seen from a window
It seems they all come
From a place unknown
A blank white sky
And they just appear
All unique as they say
Floating, rushing, searching
Flying and falling at the same time
And they just keep coming
Tiny spots of grey
In a great grey world
Half of my work
Sits in the back of a small notebook
The letters lined uniformly
In small boxes.
For some reason I had the urge to cry
Halfway through the picture
I was coloring.
It was just six colors
In an arrangement of double crosses.
I think I just want to be held
For a long time.
I know in the long run
Everything will be okay,
But sometimes it’s hard to breathe
And sometimes I just get sad.
I remember sad things
In between the happy.
The uncertainty scares me
More than it has before.
Is the structure I have enough,
Enough to keep me up?
Enough to let me sleep?
Nothing seems substantial.
I think I have some uncovering
Left to do.
If you choose to remember this,
Remember it as the time you almost had me
The time my inhibitions were dulled
And your goal was within reach
If you choose to remember this,
Remember it as a pleasant dream
The time your wants were received
And you awoke just before fulfillment
If anyone has a little positivity they can share, I would really appreciate it.
inkeddiaries asked: Hi! Thanks for following. I used your URL in a poem of mine. Check it out when you can :) You can find it on my blog under the 'For My Followers' tab. Look for the poem titled URL Poetry.
Thanks. That’s a really cool project. It sounded great.
One way, one way
Signs that point different directions
The crosswalks lie on different diagonals
People walk straight, perpendicular to me
On the sidewalk they pass slow, quick
In groups; with bags; a folded up slice of pizza
Each blink shows the blur of a car
Or the step of a woman with somewhere to be
The ground rumbles every so often
Carrying passengers I cannot see
A man stops to read the menu
Right when a car gets the right to go
A wooden box sits up close to the window
Holding the remnants of a plant that will bloom again
The sliver of moon I saw when I first sat
Has disappeared behind the squat building
Positioned on the protruding corner across the street
Upon further inspection I see the window framing my view
Is actually a door, hinged to the right
Standing guard against the cold air passing with pedestrians
A breeze or two breaks the barriers
Through the opening of the double doors
A reminder that I am not completely isolated
From what is on the other side of the glass